


Bent to Break

by NutterWorks



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: All Dialogue Fic, Angst, Dialogue, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2017-12-18 02:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NutterWorks/pseuds/NutterWorks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Reichenbach finds Sherlock and John back together in 221B but there is an uneasiness in the air. A tension. They rarely talk....until now.</p><p> </p><p>This will be an all dialogue fic. There will be a brief description of the location at the beginning and the end to set the scene but then nothing but dialogue. Not all tags will apply immediately but they will apply before it's all said and done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One [5th of November]

**Sherlock and John are sat at their table for breakfast. They are eating. They are not talking. It is a setting we've seen many times before but not like this.**  
  
“Sherlock?”

 

 

“Mm”

 

 

“Can you put the paper down? I’ll uh clear the table.”

 

 

“So.”

 

 

“This…what is this? Why are we-….just can you tell me what is this?”

 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

 

“You of all people know what I me-…okay fine. Fine. You’ve been back three months right? And okay we’ve done a few cases here and there. We solved most of them”

 

 

“All of them”

 

 

“You still don’t know who stole the car”

 

 

“The car was inconsequential. We found the murderer. But go on. Far be it from me to interrupt your …deduction”

 

 

“The point is that we are doing what we did before….”

 

 

“I died”

 

 

“Yes, before you faked your death. It’s all the same…everything. Down to the occasional meal at Angelo’s, the cases with Lestrade, and you interrupting my dates with fake emergencies”

 

 

“Science IS an emergency, John”

 

 

“You know you could’ve waited on the epoxy.”

 

 

“And voided the results of a 2 week experiment”

 

 

“Sherlock…”

 

 

“Fine. I… apologize. I am sorry I interrupted your date with…whatever this one’s name was”

 

 

“Sherlock….”

 

 

“And I promise that I will let science take the backseat to your libido in the future”

 

 

“Sherlock, I just. I don’t think we’re ever getting back to where we were. I think whatever it was is gone. That balance is I dunno…broken? And it makes sense. I’m not sure what either of us expected. We… our time before the….that day was only a few years really and you were gone for twice that. And I don’t know if we are getting back there. There’s too much pai-…. There’s…. just too much everything. And I think it’s best we try to move on.”

 

 

“John…I”

 

 

“I don’t expect you to find a new roommate immediately. Even though I’ve been thinking about this, it’s not like I’ve found a new flat.”

 

 

“You’ve been thinking about this?”

 

 

“You have as well. You must’ve and I know you’ve been having nightmares but every time just like this morning. I walk in find you sitting here. You ignore me. I make breakfast. We sit down. We eat. I go to work …sometimes. We get a bite to eat…sometimes. We go on cases…”

 

 

“Sometimes. Yes, John do move on”

 

 

“I just don’t know why we are keeping this up.”

 

 

“What …up? Be more specific John”

 

 

“This staying in the same flat. What is the point, Sherlock? We’re like an old married couple who stays together for the kids but there is no kids. So what’s the fuckin point?”

 

 

“You’re upset”

 

 

“Amazing deduction”

 

 

“The fact that you’re upset means something.”

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“It means…I can’t quite say.”

 

 

“It means I am bloody fed up with this. I don’t know how to take it anymore really. I want more than this. This isn’t enough for me anymore. This…it’s not what I want. I want to get married, have a few kids, and just….not this.”

 

 

“And what is this, John? You keep saying ‘this’ like it means something. Explain!”

 

 

“Who am I to you, Sherlock?”

 

 

“You…You’re John.”

 

 

“Right….right. I’m me. I’ll be in my room. We’ll talk more I’m sure… but I’ll tell Mrs. Hudson she should think about putting out an advert for someone else soon”

 

**John gets up from the table and climbs the stairs to his room. Sherlock steeples his fingers at the table and closes his eyes.**


	2. Chapter Two [15th of December]

 

**Sherlock and John are at a museum for a case.**

 

“So”

 

“So?”

 

“What do you see?”

 

“Not this again Sherlock. I don’t feel like looking an ass today”

 

“I value your opinion”

 

“You value making me look like an idiot”

 

“Please John?”

 

“Fine”

 

“I see…a victim on the pavement and a victim inside”

 

“Yes. Very apt summary. ”

 

“Both had headwounds. Both were bound and gagged”

 

“Also accuarate”

 

“And…both…well neither of them had any additional marks which is odd considering they were bound”

 

“Yes, that’s right…”

 

“Which is quite odd because I don’t know about you but if someone was tying me up then I’d kick up a fuss”

 

“Perhaps”

 

“Perhaps? What do you mea--? Moving on. They were both in their mid-twenties. That doesn’t seem too remarkable. Kids earning extra money at a museum isn’t that unheard of.  But they both were wearing what looks like  rather expensive jewelry”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“But whomever killed them didn’t take the jewerly so it wasn’t robbery.  Either they needed to kill as these two were standing in the way of something more valuable.  But given the fact that nothing else went missing I'd say it’s personal.  I’d  tell Lestrade to look to a lover or a family member.”

 

“Is that all?”

 

“I think...um look here. Isn’t it odd that...  well their clothes are well....it looks as if someone straightened their clothes after the fact.  Collar is neat. Tie is straight. Which is just…it’s just weird.”

 

“Is it?”

 

“As if whomever killed them but  wanted the victims to look their best.  A mad bastard if there ever was one. They cared for the victims in their own crazy way”

 

“Is it crazy really? To hurt someone and…help them at the same time?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ahh”

 

“So what did I miss? Everything? Stain on their lapel that shows it definitely wasn’t anyone that  I mentioned?”

 

“Well…”

 

“Just tell me. I’m too tired for this really. It’s half past 11 and I need  sleep before tomorrow”

 

“Well…”

 

“Well?”

 

“You missed....nothing.”

 

“What...What are you playing at?”

 

“I…you did well John. You appear to have saw all that I could deduce.”

 

"What?"

 

"You missed nothing"

 

“Oh”

 

“Yes.... Oh”

 

"You usually…”

 

“Well obviously I am not my usual self”

 

“Yeah……”

 

“Mm”

 

“Why is that?”

 

“Why is what?”

 

“You well…you normally…you see more than I do. You’re you.”

 

“I see.  Well perhaps…I am impaired”

 

“By what?”

 

“By you.”

 

 

 

**Sherlock walks away. John looks at Sherlock as he strolls out of the museum to inform Lestrade of their findings.**


	3. Chapter Three [New Year's Eve]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock's Phone Rings as midnight nears

**Sherlock is at 221B. John is over his girlfriend’s. It is New Year's Eve. Sherlock’s phone rings**

 

"Hello?" 

  

"Sherlock, what took you so long to answer?"

 

"I was waiting for you to do so. I called for you to bring me my phone but…"

 

"So you’ve just noticed I’m not there."

 

"It would seem."

 

"I’m at Kate’s."

 

"Kate’s?"

 

"Oh don’t pull this. You know who Kate is. I’ve dated her for 2 months. You’ve met her three times and insulted her four times."

 

"I’ll take your word for it. So if you’re with this Kate then why are you calling?"

 

"Well it’s almost midnight"

 

"You called to give me the time?"

 

"I called because it’s almost New Years and I wanted to ring it in with you…in a manner of sorts"

 

"Mm"

 

"It’s just sentiment and silliness really. We didn’t get to do it last year because…"

 

"I was away"

 

"Hah…yeah ‘away’ that’s a nice way of putting it."

 

"Did you want to discuss the reasons yet again?"

 

"No…that’s…that’s not why I called"

 

"You called because  of sentiment...."

 

"Yes"

 

"Then why aren’t you home?"

 

"Because I wanted the normal New Years Eve do. I wanted to go to a party and kiss a pretty bird at midnight"

 

"Ahh"

 

"And yet here I am calling you and yes I’m sure you’ve already figured it out that  Kate is a bit of a lush. More than I realized at the start and yes she is.."

 

"Passed out in the bedroom leaving you alone."

 

"Yea. Thanks for finishing that sentence."

 

…..

 

….

 

"John?"

 

"Yea?"

 

"It’s midnight"

 

"Happy New Years, Sherlock"

 

"And to you"

 

"Will you be back soon? I don’t think Kate will be up for anything else tonight. And if I am correct.."

 

"And you are rarely incorrect…go on"

 

"She will reveal to you tomorrow that she realizes that she needs to go to rehab and she can’t see you for a while."

 

"How can you possibly?"

 

"Well I’ll be honest that one was a simple background check. I run them on anyone you bring into our lives for more than two dates. This will be her third go. Third times the charm. "

 

"Third stint? Sherlock why didn’t you tell me before?"

 

"I assumed you would be upset about the background checks."

 

"I am."

 

"So I was right not to tell you."

 

"Sherlock you can’t just… You are a total-"

 

"Come home, John. At least tell me I'm a prat in person"

 

"I can’t get a taxi."

 

"I could…have Mycroft send you a car"

 

"You haven’t spoke to your brother in months. You’re over the train incident?"

 

"No. But it would be worth it"

 

"Just to have me come home and fall asleep in my chair?"

 

"Yes"

 

"Sher-"

 

"John, just come home."

 

"It's not even my home for much longer. Or haven't you noticed the boxes everywhere?"

 

"I--"

 

"You hadn't. Typical. " 

 

"....."

 

  
"Sherlock, You said you were impaired by me the other day. What did you mean?"

 

"Perhaps it is best you stay there. Goodnight John."

  

**John looks down at his phone for a second. He looks towards Kate's bedroom and then to his phone.**


	4. Chapter Four [New Year's Day]

**John has left Kate’s apartment and is out for a walk. He texts Sherlock to keep him company .**

 

You there? –-JW

Sherlock? –-JW

I know you’re not asleep yet. It’s not possible. Answer me or else I’ll call Mycroft.  Tell him you’re desperate to hear from him--JW

 

He wouldn’t believe you---SH

 

He might--JW

 

Shouldn’t you be resting John? --SH

 

Shouldn’t you? -JW

 

I slept last night. --SH

6 hours --SH

 

6? -JW

 

Well 4 but then I was in the palace for 2 --SH

 

Why wouldn’t you answer my question? -JW

 

What question are you referring to? --SH

 

Don’t try to sham me, Sherlock. You know what question. -JW

 

Are you quite sure you want to discuss this? --SH

 

Sherlock, after what you’ve put me through these past few years don't you think I've earned full disclosure on everything? -JW

When you hide things from me you end up having to fake your death and I end up…not fine. -JW

 

How many things did you bump into as you typed all that? --SH

 

Funny -JW

2 people and 1 tree -JW

 

So you want to know why I said I’m impaired by you? --SH

 

Yes -JW

 

I would think it would seem quite obvious, I no longer know how to be myself when you’re around. --SH

 

Well it’s a good thing I’m leaving then -JW

 

I suppose --SH

 

So that’s it then? You want me gone? -JW

 

John, must we have this conversation now? --SH

 

Yes, I want to have it out. I want it done. I want to start the new year in the clear -JW

 

I thought you wanted to spend it 'being normal and kissing a cute bird at midnight'? --SH

 

I want a lot of things I suppose -JW

 

When I say that I'm unsure of myself when you’re around I mean many things --SH

 

Such as? -JW

 

If you’re around I find myself wanting to be worthy of your compliments. To be 'fantastic' --SH

And I want you to find me worthy --SH

 

Sherlock you’ve always been worthy. You needn’t change -JW

 

So I'm perfect am I? Is that why you're leaving? --SH

 I don’t think texting is the best way to explain this --SH

 

So we can talk when I get home? -JW

 

If you wish --SH

 

Then open up the door. I left my key at Kate’s.  I'm outside. -JW

 

 

**Sherlock sits completely still in his chair.**

 


	5. Chapter Five [New Year's Day-Continued]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is at the door.

 

**Sherlock has been sitting still for a full minute but finally gets up and opens the door. He looks at John and then....**

“You…kissed me?”

 

“I was there, John.  Come inside”

 

“Yeah um... you might have to help me up the stairs because... you kissed me.”

 

“I don’t know how the two relate. Come inside, John.”

 

“Yeah”

 

“Shall I make tea? Sit down John. I’m quite shocked you walked so far in this weather. Why did you?”

 

“For a kiss apparently”

 

“John I…”

 

“I’m not gay, Sherlock”

 

“l'm aware.  I apologize…this is why I don’t allow sentiment. There’s no place for it. It won’t happen again.”

 

“No,  that..that’s not what I was trying to say”

 

“Then…”

 

“I’m confused”

 

“That much is certain”

 

“Sherlock no…wait why are you? What is happening?”

 

“Ahh let’s see. You called me from your soon-to-be former girlfriend’s flat, we had a quick conversation that I ended. Then you made the rash decision to walk home instead. I then came down the stairs and kissed you. Now you are sitting in my chair—very odd and I am making tea.”

 

“No you git, I mean…why did you kiss me?”

 

“You needed kissing. It’s New Years.  I’m not a ‘cute bird’ but at least you completed your goal of receiving a kiss.”

 

“Oh so that’s why…”

 

“ But you were right. I thought you would appreciate the effort. I was wrong and I do apologize.”

 

“Oh”

 

“So”

 

“So?”

 

“I um…oh nevermind. I think I should go to bed.”

 

“I thought you wanted to discuss... things”

 

“I did. I do. I just.”

 

“John, can I be completely honest with you?”

 

“That would be a nice change.”

 

“I have been…different since my return.  I had expected our life to return to the status quo. Once I realized it wouldn’t and really  couldn’t…well I should have....I'm not sure.  I’m not skilled in this but... I should have listened to you. I should have made an effort to...try.  But I didn’t and for that I do apologize.”

 

“For that you apologize?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well…”

 

“Don’t go, John.“

 

“Isn’t it for the best, Sherlock? Can you give me a reason why I shouldn’t?”

 

“I can give you a number of reasons. I have a spreadsheet with a variety of…”

 

“No, Sher- No.  Just give me one reason. The most important.”

 

“Based on what factor?”

 

“Based on why you want me here”

 

“Because I---need you... for the work”

 

“Ahh , the work”

 

“You need it just as much as I do, John. You know you do”

 

“I do enjoy the work. But how long do you plan on doing this?”

 

“Until I cease living.”

 

“I don’t want that. I--Sherlock, say I stay right? I stay and it’s ten years down the line yeah? We continue the work. I go on a few dates here and there. You continue your odd…marriage to your work. Say every year is like that first few. We add ten more years exactly like that. Would that make you happy?”

 

“Happy?”

 

“Satisfied?”

 

“Yes”

 

“I wouldn’t be, Sherlock. I need more and to be honest you can’t give it to me. House, wife, kids, sta-”

 

"Boring"

 

"Not to me. I want those things and you know you can't give that to me."

 

“What if I could?”

 

“Hah…well you can’t. Not possible”

 

“I see.”

 

“I’m done for tonight. Completeley knackered.  I’m heading to bed.  Goodnight Sherlock”

 

“John, if I asked you to do something...One last something before you leave would you?”

 

“’Course Sherlock. I mean when have I ever said no to you?”

 

“John?”

 

“Yeah?

 

“Will you kiss me?”

 

 


	6. Chapter Five [New Year's Day-Ended]

 

[We have three voices  for a bit so to explain the differences----Sherlock **,** _John_ , Lestrade]

**Sherlock and _John_ are standing near each other.**

 

_What?_

 

I asked you to kiss me

 

_Sherlock, what are you on about?_

 

We have a problem. I want to take steps to. Oh bother.

 

_One Ring of the bell_

 

And another. And another.

           

 _Client_? 

 

No, Lestrade

 

_I’ll fetch him._

 

Alright Lads

 

…

 

…

 

What did I walk in on here?

 

 

…

 

 

…

 

Okay….look the two bodies. It’s important now

 

_They weren’t important before?_

 

No, apparently they weren’t but it appears they were related to someone very important who is putting pressure on the good DI

 

No, well …yes spot on. And I need answers…fast

 

No.

 

What? Why not?

 

_Yeah, Sherlock you might as well. You should go. Do this It would be better if…_

 

If  I run along and work on a case instead of kissing y-…

 

_YES…okay? We can talk about it all later. The work is important right?_

 

Not more than you

 

_Since when?_

 

Alright so I AM intruding on something here and…normally I would let you two get on with…whatever is happening here but I need the help. Will you come?

 

_What happened with the information we gave you the other day? Did nothing turn up on the family member or um….boyfriends, girlfriends anything of the sort?_

 

Nothing.  

 

Just because you haven’t found anything doesn’t mean there isn’t anything to find.

 

_What?_

 

He’s calling me an idiot

 

 _Sherlock_!

 

No, it’s fine. He’s right. I think you guys gave us a solid lead. I don’t know how we haven’t turned anything up. And I’d be okay taking it as it goes but this goes fairly high up so any help?

 

_Has Mycroft not been in touch?_

 

He…

 

Of course he has

 

I didn’t say any-

 

You didn’t have to. Slump of your shoulders at the mention. Head tilted back as if to say ‘How does Sherlock know?’

 

_Plus it makes sense once he said it went high up._

 

Ha…Right John. So will you come?

 

Yes, of course. Me and John will be there shortly

 

_Sherlock will be there shortly. I need to finish packing_

 

John I….

 

I’ll uh leave you to it. Soon you think?

 

_He’ll be there_

 

I’ll let myself out.

 

**

 

John-

 

_I’m not coming, Sherlock. Now is as good time as any and it’ll be good for you. You have a case on so really you don’t have time for me. Just go._

 

John, I want to fix this. Were you not listening? I’m offering you..

 

_Sherlock, just go. You want to solve this remember? another puzzle? But.... I don’t want this life…anymore. Don’t you understand? It’s done._

 

Fine. I will go. Fine. But…John Hamish Watson you would do well to remember this moment…when you are in your new flat after taking out another of these boring women while planning your stable life you crave so much you will miss our work. You will miss...m-...everything. Do not think for one second that I will welcome you back. Remember who you are dealing with. Once this is done it is done. I will not remember so much as your name in a minute…you will be deleted. Do not call. 

_I won’t._

 

**Sherlock puts on his coat and scarf while looking at John who is fuming. They do not break eye contact until Sherlock finally turns away and walks down stairs and out the flat with a slam of the door. John bites his lip, looks down, and  takes a breath as he gets ready to finish packing.**


	7. Chapter Seven [15th of January]

 

**John and Molly are at St. Barts where John is taking a course to become a teacher. Molly is working in the morgue and looks up to see John. He doesn’t seem to be looking for anyone or anything.  He seems to be lost in thought and Molly calls him inside.**

 

“Um hi…John?”

 

 

“Oh Molly! How are you?”

 

 

“Alright....okay. You getting settled in? Excited to be back here teaching?”

 

 

“Yeah well it’s not something I had planned but I think it works. At least Stamford has faith I can do it. And if I fail that’ll just show him won’t it?”

 

 

“Oh you can definitely do it. Teaching ya know.  You…you definitely have the patience to teach. How you put up with—Oh sorry.”

 

 

“No, it’s fine. You can... but I should get back. Orientation’s still not over. Hoping we’ll get to ‘how to intimidate the students into never asking stupid questions' today.”

 

 

“Oh sure of course…um John…I”

 

 

“Yeah?”

 

 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve  said…I”

 

 

“No,no it’s not your ….you didn’t do this Molly.”

 

 

“I know.  I’m not silly enough to blame myself for everything that happened.”

 

 

“Good. You’re a wonderful person. I’m sorry it’s been like this. That you got dragged into this.”

 

 

“No, I didn’t get dragged. I knew something was wrong. I told him I’d help him. I wanted to help him.”

 

 

“Oh. I didn’t”

 

 

“No one did. They thought he pressured me. Used me because I…”

 

 

“Molly, you don’t have to”

 

 

“No, it’s good. Really I’m fine.  I am. When I saw you that day he… and I wouldn’t let you in to see…his body.  I wanted to tell you and after I stayed away”

 

 

“I always thought it was because it hurt you too much.”

 

 

“I know. I figured you would. It works sometimes. Being the one no one thinks about”

 

 

“No Molly I think…”

 

 

“No, you don’t.  It’s him you think about. That’s…that’s fine. He thinks about you too. He wanted to tell you. He was with me at the start. Before he left to do…whatever he did to keep you all safe.  I overheard him and his brother.  I was sat in my room like I’d been sent there by my mum.  Just reading a book and you know how it is with their conversations….mostly there are no words.”

 

 

“I know.”

 

 

“But Sherlock got angry. He screamed. And Sherlock …. Well I’d never quite heard him like that before. He shouted “He has to know! It’s not fair to him. Not after today”

 

 

“Today?”

 

 

“You and Mrs. Hudson went to his grave…He never said but I get the feeling he was there. He watched you.”

 

 

“He didn’t say….”

 

 

“He never does”

 

 

“It doesn’t matter, Molly.  It’s over. It’s done. I’m…done with it.”

 

 

“Are you?”

 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

 

“If you’re really done then why is your hand shaking? Why are you leaning against the table like your leg is hurting? Why were you walking down here in the morgue? Orientation is up on four.”

 

 

“Picked up some of his tricks while you two were laughing at me mourning did ya?”

 

 

“Oh John…I”

 

 

“No, no I’m sorry. I’m-. This is why I’ve been avoiding yo-…not that I….You’re a great person, Molls. I just think it might be better to move on from him..this..everything.”

 

 

“You really do think that?”

 

 

“I do…yeah”

 

 

“What are you moving on to?”

 

 

“I don’t know. I feel like wife, kids, semi-detached with a dog you know? It’s just after the past few years I want to feel again. I’m tired of being numb. I want…to want again”

 

 

“I see…I think I see.”

 

 

“You do?”

 

 

“Yeah…I think I can help.”

 

 

“You can?”

 

 

“Yeah…like I said sometimes it helps that no one notices you. You get to see things and be things…that no one planned on.”

 

 

**Molly moves towards John and cups his face before guiding him to her. They kiss sweet and gentle at first then John deepens the kiss as he finds Molly’s lips pliant and hungry. He breaks the kiss and opens his eyes.  Molly smiles at him. He sees fire and strength and something else he can’t decide. His arm snakes around her waist and pulls her close to him and he kisses her. Her lips are  so giving. She is giving him everything of herself and John knows it. And he takes it because he needs it.**


	8. Chapter Eight [1st of March]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the first of March

**Sherlock and Lestrade are at a crime scene. It has been  2 months since Sherlock and John have parted ways. In this time Sherlock has continued to consult with New Scotland Yard. The case he and John started remains unsolved.**

 

Sherlock / Greg

 

“WOULD EVERYONE WOULD KINDLY _SHUT THE HELL_ UP!?.

 

“Sherlock!”

 

“You as well, Lestrade. You’re putting me off.”

 

“I’m—me? Okay. Ya know what everyone? Actually please do leave. Clear the scene. Yes even you Donovan and you Anderson. Everyone out. I’ll txt you when I’m ready for you.”

 

“Finally silence. I can think.”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

“It’s just me and you, Sherlock.  Enough of this. Tell me what happened.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re referring to?”

 

“You know exactly what I’m referring to-- spill it.”

 

“John moved out.”

 

“Yeah I know. What’s it been-- two months now?”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“Oh you mean other than your fairly quick dissent into being even more of a bastard than thought possible?”

 

“I’m perfectly fine. Now if you’ll look here. These bodies are the like the last two. The killer, obvious serial killer now, ensured they were prepared and dressed like props for their unveiling. What wasn’t shown before is they are leading us to see. If you connect this to that wall there and if we were look at the museum victims from an aerial view it would form a V. These ,of course, very decidedly form a T.”

 

“The British defence company?”

 

“Unlikely. I think there are more letters missing. Anagram possibly. I’m not sure.”

 

“Okay. Well…Sherlock?”

 

“I can tell by the tone of your voice and the tilt of your head you are no longer upset with me as you were before. When you sent everyone from the room you had intended to have words with me --perhaps even threaten to not bring me in for cases.  But now you feel pity for me. Why?”

 

“No one could look at you without feeling pity, mate. You’re all wound up. You’re off your game.”

 

“I’m not off my--“

 

“You miss him.”

 

“No. His departure is inconsequential”

 

“Sherlock, you’re not so far gone that you can’t turn that mirror on yourself. Now if you’re me and granted perhaps my lens isn’t as sharp …and I’m looking at you then what do I see? “

 

“I – ”

“You don’t have to say. But yeah you know why it’s pity”

 

“I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Why’d he leave?”

 

“Who knows.”

 

“Sherlock….”

 

“I …he wants…. He deserves more... He just left”

 

“Sherlock, I’m not sure if I should tell you this but him and mo-”

 

“Molly. Yes, I know. When I saw her at St. Bart’s a week back she seemed quite happy. She didn’t have to say why nor did she confirm but yes I know.”

 

“And you’re okay with that?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

  
“Dunno just …she fancied you of course. Perhaps you’ll miss the attention”

 

“Molly is a dear friend. She helped me and I’ll be thankful for what she did for me. And John..he is a good man. He deserves… It’s fine.”

 

“I see.”

 

“I very much doubt it.”

 

“Do you trust me Sherlock?”

 

“No”

 

“Aww come on. Surely I deserve a bit of trust after I didn’t  throw one punch when you showed up here after what you pulled”

 

“There were witnesses.”

 

“I’m sure everyone at the yard would’ve applauded”

 

“True”

 

“So do you?”

 

“I believe I do. Why?”

 

“I want you to meet me for dinner.”

 

“Ahh, so I’m to meet you for dinner but what ho it’s John who shows up instead of you. I assume you’ll do the same to him and as soon as we’re together we’ll make up and it will all be as it was before. It will be fine.”

 

“No, Sherlock. It can never be how it was before. You’ve changed and so has he. You have to know that. Now you were mates before and you can be again but not like it was before. It can never be like that. I know you don’t always understand these things but you have to trust me on that”

 

“I do not enjoy this conversation”

 

“Yeah well it’s why I called you down.”

 

“You called me down because you need my help.”

 

“Yeah your help is always good but we’ve also carried on and changed while you were away. We’ve refined our techniques and we’re closing cases. It would’ve taken a while but we would have gotten there.”

 

“Perhaps”

 

“I called you down because I know you need help and I figured a couple of dead bodies would loosen you up a bit.”

 

“Lestrade ..”

 

“You’re my mate just as much as John.”

 

“Good. I believe I need your help”

 

“Come to dinner. It actually is just with just me. I have a plan to tell and you’ll never believe who came up with it.”

 

Lestrade claps Sherlock on the back and leads him outside


	9. Chapter Nine [3rd of March]

 

**Lestrade comes to visit John and check in. It's been 2 months and 2 days since Sherlock and John have parted ways.**

 

“Alright John”

 

 

  
“Alright Greg”

 

 

“How are you mate?”

 

 

“I’m…I’m good. Things are getting settled. It’s good.”

 

 

“I hear. You and Molly... That going well?”

 

 

“Yeah sure…sure. Really settled.”

 

 

“So you said...Look Jo-”

 

 

“Don’t Greg…”

 

 

 

“Don’t’ what? I’m just here to check up on ya John. Friendly call. That’s all. How’s the new job going?”

 

 

 

“Also well. It’s nice. It’s peaceful. Everything is good but…”

 

 

 

“But?”

 

 

 

“Oh come off it. We both know why you’re here. You can tell him...look I’m not coming back.”

 

 

 

“Mate I’m not here for Sherlock. I’m here for you. I was there remember? At the pub with you when you said …”

 

 

 

“Yes, I remember but it’s not like that anymore. It’s just the crazy things we say when we’ve had a few too many pints alright? We all go a bit off our nut.”

 

 

“Alright, Alright. Steady on. So you were saying?”

 

 

“Saying?”

 

 

 

“Everything is good but….”

 

 

 

“Ahh well it can be a bit. Sometimes I want to know what’s happening with the cases. There I said it. And get that grin off your face...don’t tell him alright? It’s not fair to well…to either of us to try to relive whatever it was… But I was a part of it and I can’t help but miss it a bit. But it’s all fine now. Really.  I am learning to love a nice night in with tea, Molls, Eastenders”

  

 

“Eastenders? Christ that sounds…I mean…yeah sounds um…fun?”

 

 

 

“Shut it. It’s what you do isn’t it? It’s what I wanted. And Molly is a lovely gal. Sweet. A bit _**shy**_ but still sweet”

 

 

 

“Shy? You mean you haven’t um…”

 

 

 

“No…*cough* Not as such. But neither of us are…Isn't talking about this a bit weird?”

 

 

 

“Who else ya gonna talk about it with? Give  ol’ Sherlock a call and say _‘I haven’t shagged Molly yet, what do you think that’s all about?'_ ”

 

 

 

“*Laugh* I suppose that would be a bit not good eh? Well neither me or her are really pushing it. I don’t know. I think it might just be a bit of cold comfort”

 

 

 

“I see.”

 

 

 

 “Do you?”

 

 

 

“Yeah. I’m a pretty impressive Detective Inspector or didn’t you know? I can figure out a thing or two on my own. Don’t always need you lot to point me in the right direction”

 

 

 

“What about that time where you were running after the suspect going East and we literally had to…”

 

 

 

“Alright…alright”

 

 

 

“I should get going. Class soon”

 

 

 

“Alright and I have a um… thing too soon”

 

 

“How is he, Greg?”

 

 

“Not good.”

 

 

"I see.”

 

 

“Do you?”

 

 

“Yeah. I’m a pretty impressive ex consulting detective’s blogger or didn’t you know? I can figure out a thing or two on my own.”

 

 

“Ha…well...just in case you need me to point you in the right direction I’m here.”

 

 

“Thanks Greg. I should go”

 

 

“John?”

 

 

“Yeah?”

 

 

“Let’s have dinner.”

 

 

“Dinner? Do you actually mean go to a pub and spend half of the time not talking about Sherlock?”

 

 

“No, I mean a proper dinner. I’ll bring a date. You’ll bring Molly. Should be right fun”

 

 

“Alright when?”

 

 

“Two weeks past Friday.”

 

 

“You’re on.”


	10. Chapter Ten [4th of March]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> This chapter gets a bit NSFW. There is frank sex talk and lingo used here. So here is where the Mature/Explicit tags start to apply. Also I've added a new relationship tag. Let's called this chapter "Bent to Break" after dark because we get to see Molly be very open and free and laid-back. I love Molly so I decided to add a bit more dimension to her...she's a top bird that Molly.

**Lestrade and Molly are having a telephone conversation. Molly is at her flat and Greg has just gotten home. Molly and Greg have actually became good friends while Sherlock was away.**

 

“I don’t even know if this makes sense anymore, Molly.”

 

 

“It does Greg. Trust me. I…I know them.”

 

 

“Are you sure?

 

 

"As sure I am that you didn’t call me just to talk about those two."

 

 

"I did…I  Oh bugger this. What the fuck am I getting myself into with him?"

 

 

"Him?"

 

 

"Don’t try to sham me. I know you know. I don’t know how you know but you know."

 

 

"Sherlock mentioned it."

 

 

"Sherlock? Christ how does he? Oh well of course he does."

 

 

"I think it’s lovely. Everyones gay!"

 

 

"Oh stop it! *laughing* It’s not funny. He’s… I don’t’ know what it is about him."

 

 

  
"Well he’s very tall."

 

 

"Yeah there’s…He understands ya know. It’s good.  We can talk or just have a sit and it’s…"

 

 

 

"Do you love him?"

 

 

"No, I…this is odd. I’m not gay."

 

 

"I see, I see. Greg, has his cock ever been in your mouth?"

 

 

"Molly!"

 

  
"I’m sorry..sorry just cutting through all the sodding crap.  What with trying to figure out those two it’s just exhausting.  It’s so many games and sometimes I just want to have a real conversation.  So I’ll ask again--has his cock ever been in your mouth?"

 

 

"No."

 

 

"Oh."

 

 

"But mine’s been in his a time or two."

 

 

"Greg!"

 

 

*laugh* "Alright I’m obviously a bit more flexible than I thought."

 

 

 

"More flexible and a bit selfish if you haven’t reciprocated at least once."

 

 

"We've talked more than anything. And the sex part...well it's only been twice and they were both…well the first time wasn’t long after Sherlock had…died..fake died..whatever you call it. I wanted to re-open the case but I kept getting  high-up intereference to let it lie. I dialled him up thinking he'd help but he ignored my calls. It pissed me off so I finally asked to meet him.  He came over to mine.  Just showed up and he'd barely closed the door before I shouted.  God how I shouted but he was quiet and the arse didn’t tell me anything then.  Before I knew it he’d come so close and then he just said “Gregory”.   No one calls me that but the way he says it."

 

 

"I can imagine."

 

 

"And I slowly just…I just kissed him. God Molly his lips were so soft and so pliant."

 

 

"No more…ugh I’m so desperate for a shag its been ages."

 

 

"So you and John..."

 

 

"You know me and John aren’t. And hopefully it never gets there.  He really just cuddles. It’s a kiss here and there and he doesn’t want more."

 

 

"Works out then."

 

 

"Oh but go on. I can live through you. Tell me more."

 

 

"Well alright….So I kiss him and god his eyes were open and I thought.... I don’t know what.  I stepped back and said “I’m sorry I don’t know what I’m doing”. He grabs hold of my shoulders, turns me around,  and pushed my back against the door. Ten minutes later he’s swallowing my load so expertly like it’s part of his fuckin' official duties.  He stands up,  licks his lips, and I fall to the floor. He says “I’ll see you soon, Gregory but for now please let this lie” and he was gone.

 

"Wow. And then?"

 

"Today he was asking about Sherlock because Sherlock won’t return his calls. It’s all black car pulled up, hop in the backseat, and then he's sending his driver away. And it happened again. He was on top of me grinding down and god the things he says. It’s like he’s so reserved all the fuckin time so he saves it for these times. He leaned in my ear and said “Gregory, I want to lick you all over and I want your cock inside me now”

 

 

"MYCROFT said this?"

 

 

"My-fuckin-croft. He licked my lips, I parted them, and he kissed me hard. I'm thrusting up and he was quick as he unzipped me and pulled mine out.  He pulled out of the kiss then stuck his fingers in my mouth and god I laved them so much and then he popped them out and onto my cock"

 

 

 

"Wow"

 

 "And... he has these wonderful longer fingers... and so he got himself out and he slid his hand over both our cocks and began to stroke them together. Some pre-cum was on the head mixed in with my saliva and shit it felt so fuckin hot, Molly.  He kissed me deep. I've never been kissed like that. Like he wanted to devour all of me and just...fuck.  It was amazing. Then he slid off, lowered his mouth onto my shaft, licked off the pre-cum spilling out and then…"

 

 

"What?"

 

 

 

"He got a call. Something blew up somewhere and I had to get out of the car.  I had to stand on the sidewalk and try to think about her Majesty for a very long time. Two of my own officers noticed me and gave me a ride home but God it was…mental."

 

 

 

"Oh God Greg I... I..."

 

 

"Stop laughing!"

 

 

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry but it’s the first good laugh I’ve had in ages. It’s all boring telly and watching John not understand the simplest of things"

 

 

"You’re a top bird to do this for them, Molly"

 

 

 

"You think Mycroft will give me a knighthood when it’s all said and done?"

 

 

"I think women become Dames."

 

 

"Oh sod that. I want to be Sir Molly. It’s sounds much cooler don’t you think?"

 

 

 

"It does at that."

 

 

 

"So whenever you decide you’re up to sucking Mycroft off don’t let him cum until he promises you a Knighthood for all of us alright?"

 

 

 

"I promise."

 

 

 

"Oh bugger it. John is coming. Time for Eastenders and takeway"

 

 

 

"See ya Moll"

 

 

 

"Bye Greg"


	11. Chapter Eleven [March 4th-That night]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It continues rather NSFW here. Just FYI! A bit more of the Bent to Break after dark

 

  
**Sherlock txts John**

  
John?- SH

 

  
Why are you txting me? What do you want?-JW

 

  
I want you to put your hand down your pants and take your cock in your hand-SH

 

  
  
What? -JW

What are you talking about Sherlock? We haven't spoke for two months and... are you okay? Are you using again?-JW

 

  
Of course I'm not using again. We haven't spoke in two months and two days.  What does it matter why I'm txting? -SH

 

  
It matters because I don't understand what you want-JW

 

  
I WANT you to put your hand down your pants and take your cock in your hand-SH

 

I'm watching TV with Molly. I can't. I don't even know why you want this-JW

 

...

 

I nipped to the loo. Why do you want this Sherlock? Is this for a case?-JW

 

 

Yes, a CASE. A very important one-SH

 

 

Okay I mean...that is..I suppose there are crazier things you've asked. What do you need?-JW

 

 

I want you to unzip your jeans, take out your cock, and then lick you palm. It should be almost dripping with your saliva and then take your cock in your hand (left of course) and then fuck your hand.-SH

 

 

Sherlock,  what? I'm calling you okay but only because of the case alright?-JW

 

 

Of course-SH

 

**John calls Sherlock**

 

Yes?

 

 

I can't be too loud.

 

 

Of course you can't. Molly has excellent hearing amongst her other wonderul attributes

 

 

Don't start.

 

 

I'm not. Remember the case, John. It's important

 

 

Fine...exactly what...no nevermind you won't tell me so no point in asking.

 

 

John, you're in Molly's loo right?

 

 

Yes

 

 

There's lotion in her cupboard there. That should help matters more.

 

 

How'd you? Of course when you were here...then.

 

 

Yes.

 

 

So what do you want?

 

 

Squeeze some in your palm and then do what you normally do.

 

 

I...Sherlock this is just weird.

 

 

Is it? You've done "crazier" things for cases

 

 

I don't think so.

 

 

You can say no.

 

 

You know I can't

 

 

I think you can. You've said no before.

 

 

After great pains I said no.

 

....

 

...

 

Are you doing it, John?

 

 

Yeah just.....Is it the um...*breathes hard*...you need to know how fast someone can or what? what's the experiment here?

 

 

Experiment?

 

 

The case?

 

 

Yes, tell me how does it feel?

 

 

It feels...like well you know. You take it in your hand .....and you feel like.....you feel powerful and there is a relief .....oh God.....even though you're as tense as you're going to be...you're waiting for more ...mmmm I lo.....I...I...and there's...freedom but.....mm I....there's shame too

 

Shame? Why John?

 

 

Be-because...... we've always been taught it's....ya know.... wrong and naughty so you...you...ahh

 

 

John, are you cumming?

 

 

No, not yet. But there's...you also feel bad because........ you want to do this...... with someone you care about...... or at least someone...not your hand

 

 

Do it faster, John. Harder. As rough as you want to be.

 

 

Yes....Yes alright. Yes I...I..

 

 

So you feel shame when you do this?

 

 

I do..... but.... mostly...mmm oh fuck sher-..mostly...regret.

 

Regret?

 

Yes... I...I...fuck Sherlock I'm about to

 

 

John, come home

 

I'm cumming...I..how do you...Oh...I.

 

Come home, John.

 

Sherlock I....I....Oh It's so...so. I.....

 

 

 

 

 

***click***


	12. Chapter Twelve [March 5th]

 

 

 

**John goes to see his therapist.**

**John / Ella**

 

"John?"

 

"Yeah…yeah.. ..I’m good."

 

"John, I asked you why you’re here today? You called up saying you wanted a session.  But you’ve been sitting here for ten minutes not saying a word.  Tell me , John. What happened?

 

"I…ya know this a bit pointless really.  I’ll say things and you’ll ask me questions but nothing will ever really get fixed."

 

"So you think you need something 'fixed'?"

 

"Ha.. see.. I…"

 

"John?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"What happened when Sherlock returned? I saw you once after and you didn’t mention much.  Then nothing until today"

 

 

"He…he came back and he was Sherlock."

 

 

"Tell me more. How’d you find out? You were at the press conference--I saw that. Did you know before then?"

 

 

"Yeah, but only by a few hours. I was at our flat.  It was a perfectly normal day. I suppose as normal as it is living in a place you once shared with your best mate."

 

 

"He was your best mate? Your best friend?"

 

 

"Of course he is..of course he's my best"

 

"Is?"

 

 

"Was…sorry."

 

 

"So how did he..let you know?"

 

 

"He prefers to text you know?  It wasn’t his number and it could have been a cruel joke. Part of me wanted it to be that. I’d been so numb and the anger I felt at the idea that someone could be so heartless as to send a fake text message…It was almost I dunno...alright for a minute.  But then I thought it could be real"

 

 

"What did it say?"

 

 

"It’s done-SH"

 

 

"What was done?"

 

 

"I…I can’t really say. He hasn’t really told me everything but it wasn’t a half hour later of me staring at my phone and sitting just thinking about the possibility of what it could mean and then I heard him walking up the stairs.  I stood up and turned to look at him.  He smiled and fuck him but I smiled back."

 

 

"That’s a human response"

 

 

"But I should have been so pissed off…you saw me.  Everyone saw me after he….I couldn’t...I wasn't....  And he just walks in and smiles and I LET him. I should’ve decked him."

 

 

"That’s…also a human response."

 

 

"Aren’t they all?"

 

 

"I suppose so. So what happened after you…saw him?"

 

 

"I asked him if the wanted tea *laugh* . Can you believe that? At that moment I was the very definition of British reserve. What is the answer to anything including dead best mate coming back from the grave? Tea!"

 

"Ahh"

 

 

"You just wrote “best mate - 2” on your paper"

 

 

"I forgot you could read my writing upside down."

 

 

"What does it matter that I referred to him as my best mate? Ex-spouses are all the time referring to their formers as  their wife or their husband."

 

 

"They do.  Ex-spouses do."

 

 

"Don’t you start with that….everyone is always going on about.."

 

 

"John?"

 

 

"Yes?"

 

 

"Why are you here, today? I want to help you and I want to guide you to whatever it is you need or have to accept"

 

 

"There is NOTHING to accept. Sherlock is a ponce.  I’ve moved out.  Got a lovely girlfriend. Got a stable job. Everything is fine."

 

 

"Which is why you’ve called up your old therapist that you barely trust and asked for an immediate session...."

 

 

"Yes. Fine. Fine…Sherlock called me last night for a case…some experiment"

 

 

"An experiment?"

 

 

"Something to do with a case. Could be something recent or hundreds of years old. You never know with him. He’s… always surprising you with...everything"

 

 

"Why did he call you? You’ve moved out and your partnership is over correct?"

 

 

"It was a….I think he just called me because he knew I was the only one crazy enough to do it for him."

 

 

"What was it, John?"

 

 

"He…He needed me to…sod this…I’ve no reason to be embarrassed do I?"

 

 

"This is a safe place."

 

 

"Right and we'll make it safer by you shredding your notes at the end of this alright?"

 

 

"Whatever you need to feel open."

 

 

"He needed me to…to…you know…"

 

 

"I have no idea.  I’m sorry, John. You’ll have to say."

 

 

"He needed me to do…to touch…sod it…he needed me to have myself off"

 

 

"I see"

 

 

"And it was…okay it’s been a while for me but it was.  Fuck me it was bloody amazing and  God it was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. "

 

 

"When you say ever?"

 

 

"I mean ever.  By myself or with someone and I’m not a fool…I’m not an idiot. I know that means something.  But it could mean  a lot of things right? It could be I’ve just been really hard up. It could be that it was just nice to hear his voice again. It could be maybe I just have a fetish for phone sex."

 

 

"It could mean you care for him."

 

 

"Yeah…I do. You know I do."

 

 

"Those things you wanted to say to him. Did you ever say them?"

 

 

"Yeah, in a matter of speaking."

 

 

"Do you mind me asking what were they?"

 

 

"That he helped me.  He made me whole and I thank him for that. He was the other half and when it’s the two of us together walking side by side the world seems like one big adventure."

 

 

"That sounds like a very important friendship"

 

 

"It is…It was…"

 

 

"John, I hope you don’t find this too forward but have you ever been sexually involved with a man?"

 

 

"No, not really. Cold comfort in the army. No one I ever cared for beyond a mate. And before you say a thing I know what you’re thinking.  Look I’m not some cavemen. If I were…that…"

 

"Bi-Sexual, Gay, Pansexual?"

 

"Yes.  I’d know wouldn’t I?  I’d have looked at a bloke when I was 15 or 20 or hell even 30 and thought yeah that’s for me but it’s NEVER happened. I’ve only wanted women. I’d know right?"

 

 

"Have you ever dreamed about Sherlock?"

 

 

"Yes, everyone dreams about their day to day life."

 

 

"You know what I’m talking about."

 

 

"I…yes…once …or twice."

 

 

"And?"

 

 

"Yes, in the morning I thought about it again."

 

 

"So, is it possible that you’re at least interested in Sherlock?"

 

 

"It’s…possible."

 

 

"Then why haven’t you said anything to him?"

 

 

"Because he wants to solve cases and chase after criminals until he...until he's really dead and I...I can't....…Look Isn’t a semi-detached with 2 kids and a wife what we all want? It’s what I want."

 

 

"John, it’s NOT what you want."

 

 

"What? Why do you say that?"

 

 

"Because you’re this side of fourty and you could have had that a long time ago. You’ve had a string of girlfriends who were never more than friends really. I’ve never heard you talk about them the way you talk about Sherlock"

 

 

"Maybe I haven’t found the right one to talk about the way I talk about Sherlock"

 

 

"John, I’d like to try something."

 

 

"What?"

 

 

"Tonight go home…go to sleep and the last thing you think about before bed should be these five words: home, life, love, need, want. In that order okay?"

 

 

"Yeah sure...sure"

 

 

"And that’s our time."

 

 

"I’d really like to see you again this Thursday? Do you think you can come back then?"

 

 

"Yeah..of course. I’ll try."

 

 

"Good. And John?"

 

 

"Yeah?"

 

 

"In that order alright?"

 

 

"Of course"


	13. Chapter Thirteen [ 6th of March ]

 

 

 

Mycroft, having gained Doctor Watsons’s attention, is now seated inside a large town car sat across from him as the car drives to a destination unknown to John.

 

 

Three parties here so to explain John/ _Sherlock_ / Mycroft 

 

 

 

“Mycroft, you don’t have to resort to ridiculous subterfuge to get me inside the car. I will say the car is a bit nicer than the norm. Special occasion? Going to tell me more lies that screw up my life for two years then?”

 

 

 

 

 

“The car is nicer as it’s roomier. The space was a necessity”

 

 

 

 

 

“God I love you Holmes’. Just completely ignore what you want to right? Just let me out. I’m done with Sherlock and by default you”

 

 

 

 

 

“Doctor Watson, my brother has never been an easy man.”

 

 

 

 

 

“And you have never learned to say what you mean”

 

 

 

 

 

“Fine, he can be a ponce”

 

 

 

 

 

“Ha right…right you are. I never imagined you to say…well cheers for that” *laugh*

 

 

 

 

 

  
“If I’ve given you a bit of amusement perhaps you'll be in a mood to hear this.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Whatever it is…I’m not interested and you know it.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Doctor Watson, you are aware that I hold a minor position in the British government.

 

 

 

 

 

“Minor… yea…course”

 

 

 

 

 

“We’ve had a rash of….leaks and at this point there’s not many trustworthy people left.    We’ve lost people…good people because of it.”

 

 

 

 

 

“That’s…I’m sorry Mycroft. Though I’m not sure how-”

 

 

 

 

 

**The car slows to a stop, the door to the car opens, and Sherlock enters sitting next to John with as much space between them as possible.  John looks at Sherlock then Mycroft**

 

 

 

 

 

“Well if you two will just let me out here.  I’ll be on my way.”

 

 

 

 

“Sherlock”

 

 

 

 

_“Mycroft wants us to find a mole for him. He’s going to appeal to YOUR loyalty to queen and country.  He’s going to appeal to MY desire to have him stop pestering me to do it.”_

 

 

 

 

 

“Well that’s …it doesn’t matter.  Mycroft, I’m sure Sherlock can handle this alone. I don’t do this sort of thing anymore. ”

 

 

 

 

 

“And why is that?”

 

 

 

 

 

“What?”

 

 

 

  
“Why have you severed your…partnership with my brother?  Because Doctor Watson…John, I look at you and I don’t see a man who doesn’t want to be here. You’re relaxed in your seat even as you say you want to leave.”

 

 

 

 

 

“You see a man who isn’t afraid of you anymore, Mycroft. That’s all.”

 

 

 

 

 

_“Mycroft, John doesn’t want to be here. Just…just let him go.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 “You two…*sighs* It was just the two you against the world once. What happened? Surely his feeling for y-“

 

 

 

 

_“Mycroft, Shut UP!”_

 

 

 

 

“You..you know what happened. You two schemed and plotted.”

 

 

 

_“Same thing really”_

 

 

 

 

“Very much so”

 

 

 

 

“Shut up the both of you. You two hatched your little plan and left me out because I couldn’t be trusted and…”

 

 

 

 

_“Is that what you think happened, John?”_

 

 

 

 

 

“It’s not what I....It’s what I’ve thought about every day and I’m not stupid no matter what you two think.  It’s not what I THINK happened… It’s what I KNOW”

 

 

 

 

 

“Doctor Watson…”

 

 

 

 

 

“I don’t want to hear it. Let me out.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Really Doctor Watson, what happened with Sherlock was to not only to save your life but countless others.  He is a he-“

 

 

 

 

 

_“MYCROFT SHUT UP!”_

 

 

 

 

“Sherlock, what is he talking about?”

 

 

 

 

_“Nothing of consequence, John.”_

 

 

 

 

 

“No, tell me. You’ve kept so much from me. If you can call me up and ask me to…to do crazy things that...that drive me barkers then you can tell me this.”

 

 

 

 

 

_“I—John, can’t we discuss this another time?_

 

 

 

 

 

“Ha. Yeah…another time.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Doctor Watson, I think if we can all come to an agreement then you can be on your way. If it helps smooth the way for your involvement, the first item needed will find you speaking directly and solely to me.  I do hope you can be of assistance to Sherlock at a later date though we’d like this handled in a timely manner.  I’ve made my case. Do you think you can work together once more?”

 

 

 

“I…”

 

 

 

“Just once more that is.”

 

 

 

“I..yeah I suppose so. Yeah”

 

 

 

 

_“You…will?”_

 

 

 

 

“Yea. Yes. It’s for the Queen isn’t it?”

 

 

 

 

_“In a manner of speaking”_

 

 

 

 

 

*laugh* “Yeah in a manner of speaking”

 

 

 

 

 

  
“If juvenile jokes at my expense are what it takes to resolve this ..lover’s tiff then so be it.”  “I’ll send you both a copy of the dossier. Doctor Watson, your travel arrangements will be made at your convenience.”

 

   
"Alright."

 

“Sherlock, Doctor Watson”

 

 

 

 

 

***Sherlock and John exit the car outside of St. Barts as Mycroft’s car pulls away. They stand near the entrance….John glances at the sidewalk then up to Sherlock***

 

 

 

“So”

 

 

 

_“So”_

 

 

 

“Uh…”

 

 

 

 

_“You don’t have to do this. I know you’d rather not and as long as it gets done then Mycroft doesn’t have to know you weren’t involved. “_

 

 

 

 

“Is that what you’d prefer?”

 

 

 

 

_“You know what I’d prefer.”_

 

 

 

 

“Uhh yeah…yeah I suppose so. I can do this though. I’d like to I think. Once more unto the breach. If uh …if  you think it would help.”

 

 

 

 

_“You do…You always help”_

 

 

 

 

“Especially with the boring things”

 

 

 

 

 

_“And the not so boring things. The ‘crazy’ things.”_

 

 

 

 

“Ahh… yes. Those too. Sherlock. Um ….you wouldn’t want to get a pint would you?”

 

 

 

 

_“Don’t you have class Professor Watson?”_

 

 

 

 

“I do. I do…”

 

 

 

 

_“Then…”_

 

 

 

 

“I’d rather get a pint with you than go teach bright, young minds facts they couldn’t give two shits about.”

 

 

 

 

_“Of course. lead the way”_

 


	14. Chapter Fourteen [6th of March-Night]

 

**Sherlock and John are sat on stools at a pub having a pint together**

“John I…”

 

“No.”

 

“No... what?”

 

“No. I don’t want to hear whatever is the first thing out your mouth, Sherlock. Move past whatever lie you have waiting to tell me and start with the truth.”

 

“I always tell you the truth…”

 

“Ha…ha. You do, do ya? So you are a fake and you’re dead? I’m talking to a ghost am I?”

 

“No need to be so overdramatic.”

 

“I learned from the best…”

 

“What do you want to know?”

 

“So on the roof when you told me you were a fake and you lied to me. Why?”

 

“A few things… First I thought it would be...”

 

“Funny? Interesting? Cruel?”

 

“Easier…easier for you if  you thought I wasn’t who I said I was. That your hatred of me would lessen any grief you might have felt otherwise.”

 

“Idiotic plan…go on.”

 

“Yes, how was I to know? Well  , of course I should have. You’re loyal to a fault.”

 

“It’s not a fault,Sherlock.  It’s not a fault to care for others. To want to do right by those you love.”

 

“Love…”

 

“Love. It’s a common emotion expressed by us humans.”

 

“I understand love , John. Far more than I think you understand.”

 

“I think you understand some fucked up version of love actually.”

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“Theory I’ve been working on.”

 

“Oh please…go on.”

 

“No you continue. So you’re on the rooftop lying to me.”

 

“Telling you what you needed to hear…”

 

“That wasn’t what I needed to hear, Sherlock. Then or ever. A lie is NEVER what I need to hear.”

 

“Fine. I lied. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

 

“Yes actually. Finally admiting that is...it's something, Sherlock.”

 

“John, I lied to you but I did it because I had to. You must know this. Moriarty had me cornered and though I had planned for the eventuality, It didn’t mean that I didn’t have to… improvise. I assumed you wouldn’t come back to Barts. That you’d be with Mrs. Hudson until it was over.”

 

“Mm.”

 

“….I didn’t mean for it to be like that.”

 

“You didn’t mean for me to watch my best friend die?  That wasn't part of the story you plotted? Just that bit about me mourning him for years…”

 

“You were in danger, John. If I hadn’t then they would have come after you. Moriarty threatned you, Mrs. Hudson , and Lestrade. Their deaths would be on my hands if I didn’t take the time to dismantle the web and it took…it took time. Far more than I planned…or wanted.”

 

“Right.”

 

“I came back as soon as possible and I hoped we could move forward. We were partners once. We …complimented each other.”

 

“I miss it.”

 

“Of course you do. The cases. The blood rushing through your vein. The thrill of the chase. Who wouldn’t miss the game?”

 

“Don’t…”

 

“What now?”

 

“Don’t do that…this drink. This is it, Sherlock.  Be honest with me. Don’t just slip into the easy mask that everything was just... that.”

 

“I’m sorry… I…I miss it too.”

 

“Case finished. Night at home. Takeaway trays and experiments.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And even your strops when you’re bored….I miss it…I miss us.”

 

“John I...”

 

“You know what is the worst part of the way you left?”

 

“I can think of a few things…”

 

“The fact that I lost that connection. It was unspoken but it was there. Step for step. And when you died it was just…gone.  You took that from me, Sherlock. Then you come back here and ask for things to be the same. They can’t be.”

 

“Perhaps they can move forward?”

 

“….”

 

“Perhaps WE can move forward…”

 

“I…uh…Molly is a great girl ya know?”

 

“Molly is a good friend to us both, yes."

 

"She's lovely to me."

 

"She has been dating you so you didn’t wallow but she’s not interested in you for anything long-term”

 

“Oi!”

 

“It’s the truth, John. Think back and deduce…”

 

“But…but…shit.”

 

“She’s a good friend.”

 

“*laugh* that she is. Explains why she didn’t push things”

 

“It helps that you didn’t want to sleep with her either.”

 

“I...you're right...I didn’t. Not that she isn’t very attractive just…”

 

“She wasn’t the one you wanted to be with.”

 

“Yeah…yeah.”

 

“John, I am aware you are not gay.”

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

“But….”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You talk of this connection we had. This unspoken bond. The line that connected us…”

 

“Sherlock, I don’t…”

 

“And then you left when you felt was irreparably broken. But John, I think you’re wrong. It wasn’t broken. Perhaps it’s just changed.”

 

“To what, Sherlock?”

 

“To love. I love you, John Watson.”

 

“Sherlock..."

 

**Sherlock and John are thrown from their stools as as a bomb goes off in the corner.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not abandoning this.... I enjoy writing it so ya know. I'm not. No worries for my few but loyal (and awesome) readers. I just get busy with things but I'll keep this going. I'll try to write at least once a month from here on out...though to be honest it'll probably just stay with the schedule of "as often as I can". Hopefully I'm not losing anyone here. Thanks to all your kudos, comments, and crits. They are SO very appreciated. Thanks all!


	15. Chapter Fifteen [6th of March-Late Night]

 

Sherlock _John_ _Mycroft_

**After a small blast in a pub knocks Sherlock and John out they are sent to a local hospital. Sherlock is hurt more than John. John sits at Sherlock's bed waiting for him to wake up.**

“Mm…nnmm”

_“Sherlock?”_

“Nmm..Jo-John?”

_“Yeah…Lay back down. Can you open your eyes?”_

“John, Where…oh.”

_“You’re in a hospital bed and you’re going to be fine._

“Are you…”

_“We’re both going to be fine. Thrown on our asses but the blast in the corner of the pub mostly knocked us out. You might be concussed so we’re staying put for now. Now lay back down.”_

“Small incendiary device then. Do they?”

_“Not yet. No group has claimed responsibility.”_

“My—“

_“Yeah, your brother’s been by and gone.  He seems to have some ideas.”_

“Really John can I get a question out?”

_“No. I quite like this advantage of knowing more than you for once.”_

“You always know a great many things I don’t.”

_“Not as much as I’d like.”_

“How long do I have to be here?”

_“Overnight for observation and even if we did want to leave…have a look out the door.”_

“I see. Mycroft’s?”

_“Yes. He wants us both here for ‘when he returns with more information’”_

“Ponce.”

_“That’s what I called him.”_

“Good...”

_“So we’ve got time to talk. He said it wasn’t random. Though how they knew we’d be going to that pub is beyond me.”_

“If they were watching Mycroft’s car then it’s just a matter of following us after we departed. If they had the device on them then they may have entered the location not long after we did and planted it.”

_“But if we were they intended targets then why leave it in the corner?”_

“Maybe it was a message or maybe it went off too soon. I’m not at full capacity yet but those are a few possibilities.”

_“Brilliant.”_

“Is it?”

_“You know it is.”_

“Thank you.”

_“Thank you? That’s not really something you say.”_

“No…..It’s not. But…”

_“But? There’s more?”_

“Yes. Thank you for being there ,John. For not believing me that day. For being my friend. For..”

_“I love you too.”_

“For that too.”

_“Sherlock….what do we do now?”_

_ “Pardon the interruption.” _

“Get out.”

_“Sherlock ….”_

“Apologies John. Mycroft, please leave and….then do not come back for a long time. Better John?”

_“Mmm.”_

_ “As much as I’d like to leave I cannot. The bomb, as you have no doubt realized, was meant for you as a message.” _

“Something to do with your missing agents no doubt.”

“Yes, it would seem as not long after I was couriered a message suggesting as such.”

_“What does this mean then?”_

_ “It means that you two should go into hiding. We can take you to a secure location, guards around the clock, and once this business is finished then you can return.” _

_“Thank you Mycroft, That would be….”_

_ “But I have a feeling my brother will not go along with this very logical course of action, Doctor Watson.” _

“Of course I will.”

_“Really? Sherlock you ne-”_

“John, I don’t want you in danger.”

_ “Well I…I expected you to fight me on this.” _

“Your deductions are often wrong, Mycroft.”

_ “Yes…I suppose they can be when the variable of Doctor Watson is in the equation.I’ll send the car for you both and arrange for you to be discharged soon. We’ll speak soon. Good day.” _

 “John, when you say you love me what do you mean?”

_“I mean I want to try….I want to date you. I want to kiss you. I want to.”_

“Fuck me?”

_“I…”_

“No?”

_“Yes..... very much so.”_

“Good. I was hoping you’d say that.”

_“So we’ll really go into protection with Mycroft’s people?”_

“You will go into protection. I want you to be safe. I’ll help stop the people who are trying to hurt us…and I suppose help my brother.”

_“No!”_

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

_“I mean I can’t do it again. I can’t have you gone and not knowing if you’re okay. Sherlock, we just figured this out. We're finally finding a way to move forward.”_

“All the more reason for me to keep you safe.  John, I need you to be safe so we can move forward.”

_“And I don’t get the same? I’m supposed to just trust you to figure it out on your own.”_

“I did it for years.”

_“You don’t get to …Sherlock, you said you loved me.”_

“I do.”

_“No…no I don’t think that’s true. I think you miss me and that’s fine but love Sherlock, love means you don’t just go off on your own.”_

“What am I to do, John? I can’t protect you if you’re in tow.”

_“And that’s it? I’m just baggage weighing you down am I?”_

“You know that’s not what I…”

_“I’ve killed to protect you.”_

“And I you.”

_“So we can do this…together.”_

“No I… John, your safety is…”

_“Sherlock, the same way you want to keep me safe is the same way I want to keep you safe.”_

“I understand.”

_“No, you don’t. Not if you think I can just sit around with your brother guarding me and not knowing if you’re okay out there in God knows where. I need to be with you. Helping. You took the choice out of my hands last time and it cost us both…a lot. But we’re here now and fuck we just said we love each other and I fuckin meant it Sherlock. I meant it because I love every wonderful and insane thing about you and I’m not gay but I’m not fuckin straight when it comes to you because I want you. All of you Sherlock. So don’t do this. Don’t fuckin leave me behind …again. Please Sherlock?”_

“I…..I can’t…not after everything. You have to be safe, John. You must understand that I...”

_“Sherlock stop. What’s it going to be? Are we going to do this together or do we just pretend like we didn’t just say we loved each other?”_

 

 

**Sherlock looks away from John and sighs. John moves towards the hospital bed then leans in slowly and reaches out a hand to tilt Sherlock’s face back towards his then gently presses his lips to Sherlock’s soft lips. Sherlock moves to deepen the kiss and darts out his tongue to tease John’s mouth open. John complies for a second then pulls back, leans his forehead to Sherlock’s then leaves the room.**

**Sherlock watches him go. His eyes flutter shut.**

 

“John…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 chapters to go!

**Author's Note:**

> Going to try to update this as often as I can for at least 20 chapters worth.


End file.
